Book review: "Magpies, Squirrels and Thieves..."

“Magpies, Squirrels & Thieves: How the Victorians Collected the World” by Jacqueline Yallop

As someone who is utterly fascinated by the Victorian Era, I’m not one for passing on a book that’ll educate and entertain on that aforementioned topic. Now I bought this book several years ago in Aberystwyth, but I, for several reasons, never got around to read it, until now. And I am very glad that I finally did.

The book starts out with describing the Victorians and their relationship with collecting in general and then uses that as a jumping-off point for looking closer into a handful of specific collectors.

The collectors in question are: John Charles Robinson, Charlotte Schreiber, Joseph Mayer, Murray Mark and Stephen Wootton Bushell. Each of them representing a different archetype of collector, each of them highlighting the good and the bad of Victorian England and the roles they fulfilled and each of them not only watching but influencing the history happening around them.

“…the Victorians continued to debate the ways in which art might influence their lives…making space for objects in their homes because they liked them there and because their desire for lovely things seemed irrepressible.”

Yallop’s writing is very dynamic and engaging, making the reader really get to know and like her selection of collectors. At the same time she manages to weave in other topics like racism, gender inequality and greed, just to name a few. And she does this seamlessly without taking the reader out of the moment or lose the focus on the collector in question.

And while at the surface she appears to focus on some specific players on the collecting scene, her narrative also manages to tell the story of collecting as a business and a hobby, and of how museums came to be as we know them today. All this information is never presented in a boring or “slow moving” way making the book a rather quick read.

“Clubs and galleries and organizations brought collectors together across Britain and Europe, but collecting in the mid-nineteenth century was as much about competition as about cooperation.”

I thoroughly recommend this book if you’re interested in history or the Victorian Era specifically, not only will you learn a lot reading it, but you’ll also go on quite the ride with her cast of different collectors and maybe you’ll even catch the collecting-bug yourself.

Hope you enjoyed this little review, and I’ll see you in the next one :)

Come on a Walk with Me!

So! The world changed. Now let me assure you that I’m not here to reiterate statistics, world news or dwelling in everything that is currently bringing stress and anxiety into our lives, instead I wanna give you a window into some of my thoughts regarding self-care and routine as well as taking you on a walk with me.

In the last month or two I have seen my own personal everyday and weekly routine thrown out the window. Not only have my regular pastimes ceased to be a part of my life, but my social life has become a thing of the Internet and phone-calls. To put it mildly I’m bored! I am bored and craving social interactions face to face! But with all this extra time on my hands I surely have gotten a lot done in the last month? Passion projects? Hobbies I usually don’t have or make time for? No. For the longest time I’ve gotten absolutely nothing done. Fortunately that has now changed.

I am personally of the belief that in order to solve a problem one must first diagnose the root cause of said problem. And for me the lack of productivity appears to come from my fear of meeting my own expectations.
It is a problem that I have encountered many times throughout my life, especially in regards to school. Every little task becomes a giant project and every aspect of it has to be done absolutely perfectly, and should it be anything less than perfect I have failed. This was the mindset that had presented itself once again and it quickly became a self-feeding downward spiral: the less I got done, the more ashamed I became of myself, the more I felt defeated and even more projects and chores were pushed aside because clearly I was not perfect enough to get them done perfectly.
This sounds quite dramatic I know, but that was my mindset. However! With the problem diagnosed a solution could now be crafted!

First things first: a basic routine was needed to restore my energy and give me a sense of normalcy. And I do mean a very basic routine, so do not expect anything fancy.
For me a basic routine includes a time to get up, a time by which I have showered and gotten dressed, times set out for the three main meals of the day, a walk, a time by which the most basic everyday chores have been done (making the bed, cleaning the dishes etc.) and last but not least bedtime. I sat down with one of my way too many notebooks and plotted it out ignoring passion projects and other things I felt that I should be doing and just kept everything to the bare minimum. And though I have not been perfect in sticking exactly to that baseline of a routine every single day (Yes, I stayed in bed watching kpop music videos to 10am before I got up!) It has so far been quite the success.
Second part in beating the Perfection Monster included me making a list of everything I not only want to get done this month, but also what I absolutely need to get done before May rolls around. That list came out to be 24 bullet points and looking quite intimidating, but still it gave me the overview I needed. Lastly I needed a set of tools to get it done, or at least mostly done by the end of April.
Enter Camp NaNiWriMo! If you’re unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo it’s basically the challenge to write 50.000 words in a month during November every year, and during Camp which happens in both April and July you get to set your own goal. So I logged on to their web page and created a project called “Get Shit Done Month” and pretended that my tracker was minutes instead of words. I set my goal to 2.700 minutes averaging out to 90 minutes a day.
With a list of projects and chores, a tracker and some good old fashioned motivation I have been dealing with the Perfection Monster and winning! I have not spent 90 minutes everyday, but every little thing helps and being able to cross off things as I get them done is very satisfying, not to mention that I’ve promised myself a pair of new pantyhose from Pamela Mann should I manage to cross off the entire list.

And speaking of rewards I just wanna take a moment to talk about the difference of self care and self indulgence before I leave you and walk home.
During the time of loosing my routine and being paralyzed with anxiety the one thing I practiced was self indulgence. I deserved it right? I felt so bad and I couldn’t get anything done, the least I could do was being kind to myself. Yes and no. When not kept in check self indulgence quickly becomes sloth and gluttony, and instead of being kind to oneself one ends up making the situation worse and halting any progress that can be made. Do not get me wrong, self indulgence can be good for you in small doses, but the most important thing you can do for yourself is self care.
Self care covers everything from showering and eating healthily, to having a spa-day and watching your favourite movie. It is what lays the foundation to build your mental and physical health upon, and the reason for me working out a basic everyday routine before even attempting working on everything I wanted and needed to get done. Having a regular sleeping and eating schedule, making sure I get some fresh air and basic exercise everyday and keep myself and my home clean and tidy gives me the energy, again mentally and physically, to achieve what I want not only these days, but during other more normal times as well.

And with that it’s time for me to get back home. I hope you enjoyed this little walk with me. Stay kind to yourself, to others and be responsible and levelheaded.

And I’ll see you in the next one.

Music I Listen to while I Write

Like most people who write I enjoy having on some music at a low volume to one; help me concentrate and two; keep me in the story’s atmosphere.
I personally prefer listening to albums rather than a mixed playlists, because with an album the artists usually invoke the same themes and sounds. There’s an overall arch that a playlist, no matter how well balanced and themed, just lacks. So below I have listed some of my favourite albums to listen to during writing sessions (incidentally they also just happen to be some of my all-time favourite albums and bands, so I’d highly recommend giving them a listen even if you’re not looking for music to write to).

“My New Time”, “Altitude” and “Stacked Smoke” by Autumn
The vast majority of my writing features Gothic themes and Autumn is a band that, at least for me, create an atmosphere that transports me into those stories. However, being a very particular creature, the Gothic setting that I’m brought to with their music is always a post 1920s setting. For an album that takes me to a Victorian Gothic setting look no further than to the next album below!

“Opheliac” by Emilie Autumn
This album works as a two for one type deal. It, as mentioned above, brings me into a Victorian Gothic setting, but it also helps me with invoking a more decadent and mad scene, still very much with either Gothic over- or undertones. I have an affinity for the Gothic Mad Woman, and this album perfectly embodies those themes.

“Violet” and “Walking With Strangers” by The Birthday Massacre
Now these two albums are the only ones on the list that do not take me into a Gothic mood. The atmosphere that these albums draw me into is still dark, still “horror” and definitely modern. But at the same time there is also a childlike glee to them, the song “Lover’s End” especially has that particular creepy-kid factor.

“Dark Adrenaline” by Lacuna Coil
This album brings me back into the Gothic, but keeps the modern setting for me. And since this album is also on the heavier side it is also my preferred soundtrack for when I write more action oriented scenes.

“Century Child” by Nightwish
This album takes me into the mindset of a Gothic fairytale. While the other albums on this list have had a strong sense of modernity to them this album is the only one that takes my thoughts back to a, very romanticized, medieval setting. It is also the only album on here that takes me from an industrial setting into a nature one. The overall puppet theme of the songs also helps to create a dark and creepy setting.

So that was my list! I hope you will check these albums and bands out for yourself, even if you’re not interested in writing with a soundtrack or even writing at all. Have a nice day and I’ll see you in the next one.
Bye!

I’m Back! (and a New Year’s Resolution)

Well it’s definitely been a while! I’ve been wanting to return to this blog for quite some time now, but it took a fabulous lady at the Always Burning event I attended on the 15th of February to provide the last butt-kick I needed.

The blog has gotten a bit of a revamp, and I’ve tried to modify the posting schedule to a somewhat less ambitious level (that’ll hopefully fit me a lot better) and I’m going to take my time trying to find my “voice” in this medium.

Since my last post I’ve gotten older, wiser and more comfortable in my own skin, and I’m hoping that that will shine through in the posts as well as my commitment to make this a regular thing for me to work on.

With the re-introduction out of the way it is now time to venture into the first (proper) post of 2020!

New Year’s Resolution

Usually I’m not one to make one or more of these, because quite frankly I never keep them. There are several reasons for this, but mainly it comes down to me having a goal without a plan to actually reach it. However this year a resolution has been made!
And what part of my life am I going to improve on? Well, since I’m not a smoker there’s nothing to quit, and considering that I’m in decent shape there’s nothing new to start up. What I want to do instead is bring something back into my life that I lost a few years ago: my habit of reading several books during a month.

When I was a fledgling teen I used to read all the time and consume book after book, and I loved it. It greatly enriched my life and provided inspiration for all my various creative endeavors, and I miss that. The lack of reading has become quite severe within the last few years and I’m at a point now where I almost feel left behind.
Another thing that truly bothers me is my inability to talk to my friends about books, because on one hand I can only contribute with books I’ve read years ago, and on the other hand I’m incapable of talking with them about the books they’ve read.
But no more!

This is the year where I’ll bring an old habit back to life. And that’s the key word: habit.
While I am going to track the amount of books I’ll read this year, I do not have a set goal for the amount, or kinds of, books that I’m going to read. This is about building up a habit of reading on a regular, or even just a semi-regular, basis.
Simply put; I won’t be reading any books in 2020 if I do not make time for it. And so, how’s it going so far two months in?
In my personal opinion it’s going rather well. So far I have finished one book, and I’ve begun on another. What I still need to work on is making time for and prioritizing reading over browsing the Internet.
WI-FI is most definitely my main downfall. I often find myself going to YouTube, Netflix and many other sites where I’ll then proceed to dive down a rabbit hole. A rabbit hole that’s almost impossible to get back out off.

In order to combat this I’ve tried to do the old “reading before bed” - routine, but unfortunately there are many evenings where I’m just too tired to concentrate on reading, so even though I have gotten some extra pages turned it’s not enough for what I’m trying to do.
Another thing I’ve done is turning off the devices that connects to the WI-FI which have produced much more reading time. One thing that has really helped me in that tactic is my old iPod: while it connects perfectly well to my laptop, it has no way of connecting to the Internet on its own. Not having to go online for music prevents any temptation to start browsing.
The second method has so far proved to be my favorite one when making time for reading, I just have to get better at actually doing it. So I guess that’s going to be the next step.

Fingers crossed that I manage to make my resolution a reality, and I’ll see you all in the next one!
Bye!

Book review: Flapper by Joshua Zeitz

 

For many years I have had a fascination and love for the 1920s. Whether it’s the fashion, the progress that women made for equality, the rise of Hollywood, the prohibition or the technological progress, it all makes for one interesting and fast paced decade.

Though the focus of this book is on the women of the era, Zeitz also eloquently brings in the topics of the advertising industry, prohibition and how the fast moving technology industry impacted not only social life but also the laws of the land. And it is all part of the great strides women took during those years. Now! His focus is on the American Girls, who unfortunately did not get as far as their European sisters during that time, and thus much of the progress was lost when the 1930s came about. Though never returning to the previous Victorian standards, a more conservative view definitely took hold after the crack on Wall Street. But this is not a historical article! So onwards to the review!

Zeitz have picked a handful of some of the most famous Flappers in the US at the time to include in his book. From Zelda Fitzgerald, Lois ‘Lipstick’ Lane to Colleen More; these three flappers inspired women and set the standard each from their own industry and place in society. I have personally developed a bit of a crush on Miss Lane; her style, her work ethics and her snarky-ness all put a smile on my face. Zeitz give them all the space they need to unfold before your eyes, but he does not make the mistake of disconnecting them from reality; dryly commenting on the fact that it was only a very few privileged women who had their opportunities or could afford their lavish lifestyles.

In fact he takes the time to showcase the lives of middleclass women, as well as working women who were working long hours for little pay in the pursuit of independence. He goes over the social rebellion and the clashing of the generations. How the conservative, God fearing people of America shivered, held their breaths and denounced all the evils of the short skirts showing of the girls’ knees, of the kissing and necking in the back of cars, of young women leaving home and not marrying and, even worse, not listening to their parents or other authority figures!

But one of the most recognized features of the Flapper is her style! And Zeitz covers this extensively, connecting the changes in fashion to the newfound mobility of young women in not only America but Europe as well. Dedicating several pages to some of the big designers of the time, like Coco Chanel, in order to explain just what was the look of the Flapper. This is also the part of the book where he jumps over the pond, since the majority of the fashion favoured by the Flapper originated in Europe.

All in all, this book is very informative, yet also very fun to read. I had an easy time getting through it, with its less than 350 pages it is a fast read. Not mentioned above is also his look at the cinematic industry and its impact on the Flapper. But even that topic he manages to get around with smoothly blending politics, fashion and even racism.

The book itself is rather gorgeous to look at and it will certainly make any nightstand or coffee table more fashionable. And inside each chapter is preceded by a beautiful black and white picture, setting the mood (and making me wish I wore red lipstick more often). But now you must excuse me! I’m gonna curl up in bed with a cup of tea and watch Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries on Netflix.

 

Until next week!

Xoxo Christina

Books I’ve Mentioned On The Ghoul’s Night Out Stream

 

Hello Everyone! So I had the pleasure of being a guest-ghoul on the Ghoul’s Night Out Stream hosted by Horror Addicts on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChNY5V5WCOCQCNG3Cy4EDgQ). And we talked about many “things” (wink, wink). Books being one of those “things”, and so I decided to make a little list for everyone of the books that I mentioned.

 

1. “Love in Vein – Tales of Vampire Erotica” edited by Poppy Z. Brite
2. “Lost souls” by Poppy Z. Brite
3. “Dracula” by Bram Stoker
4. “Soulless” by Gail Carriger
5. “Best British Horror 2014” edited by Johnny Mains
6. “Gothic” by Fred Botting

 

All of the books above deals with violence, sex and horror, now you have been warned!

 

If you wanna see the stream here is a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXB6WiDz378), as well as a link to Emma’s channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc98I_anDmaYOQzU6tcfklw). I had so much fun and I hope everyone else had fun too! And I would also like to thank people in the chat for book recommendations as well; I have looked them up and put them on my wish list.

 

I hope some of these books have caught your interest. I will see you in the next one!

 

Xoxo Christina

Book Review: American Apocalypse by Matthew A. Sutton

 

Have you ever wondered how and why the apocalyptic worldview of Evangelical Christians has become so prevalent in the United States? Well wonder no more, because this book will take you on a tour through the history, politics and social issues within the movement.

 

Sutton guides you down the path of the abovementioned movement, from its beginning to its position in today’s society and political sphere. He touches upon core beliefs and values, the issue of race, politics, education, pop culture and key figures. At times the sheer volume of information can become overwhelming, but it never makes his narrative boring or impossible to follow. It does mean, however, that this book is not an easy or quick read. One does need to sit down and take the time, but I personally think that it is worth it to do so. (Granted, I am a bit biased, since this topic is an interest of mine).

 

The book also contains a handful of black and white pictures, mainly, of key figures in the movement. Putting a face to the preachers and supporters are most welcome and it also helps to illustrate two of the major focuses of the book: race and gender. Sutton describes and explains the division of race in the movement; how different interpretations arose in the two main groups, African Americans and Whites, and how some wanted to segregate the faith and how a few did cross racial lines. When it comes to gender the conflict comes from the biblical interpretation of women’s role in society and in the faith as well.  As the pictures show the evangelical movement was dominated by whites and lead by men. Other races and women, though having important roles in hindsight, did not seemingly play any prominent roles in shaping the movement.

 

Though diving down into social issues and political pressure, Sutton also clearly explains the structure of the apocalyptic worldview. He does focus more on the premillennial version, but that focus does not take away from the others portrayed in the book. One of the other versions which get a thorough description, both in its structure and its cultural meaning, is the interpretation by the African American apocalyptic movements. As mentioned above, race is one of the focuses of the book.

 

But not only does Sutton look at the movement’s actions and conflicts within the context of America, he also looks at it in a more international setting, specifically the World Wars. Both wars played an important part on the apocalyptic movements, touching upon the conflict of urging the apocalypse to come sooner while at the same time not wanting to play into the Devil’s hand by summoning the Antichrist into the world. But also the issue of American isolationism is touched upon.

 

Moving on to the last two themes, at least the last two I will mention here; politics and education. When looking at politics today it is clear that religion plays a significant role to many American voters. So Sutton’s explaining how the Evangelical movement has been heavily involved in politics the last 100 years, comes as no surprise. But it is not only involvement within the top of church hierarchies; individual members and supporters also saw it as their responsibility to move history and national and international events in the direction of the second coming of Christ. Education was of equal importance and the rise of Christian private schools and institutions, according to Sutton and his research, can also be linked to the Evangelical movement. Seeing the conflict with religion and education in today’s America, it is definitely relevant to know the roots of said conflict and how it grew and has been growing.

 

All in all I highly recommend this book. It is an interesting, though slightly heavy, read. I have used it along side my research into the religious beliefs of White Supremacists (Christian Identity) in the United States, and it was very interesting to see how the two actually fit very well together and how Christian Identity has clearly taken inspiration from the Evangelical movement. I tried to lay out the main themes and discussions of the book above, however since it is so dense in information I feel like I have only scratched the surface. If you wanna dive into the American Apocalypse yourself it is easily found on Amazon.

 

Until next week!

 

Xoxo Christina

Where Have I Been & What Now?

 

Hello! Long time no see. I do feel bad for the lack of activity on here, but life unfortunately took over all of my time and energy, though it seems like things will calm down a little for now, so I will take the opportunity to get the blog back into gear.

Not much will change on here; uploads will still be every Thursday and the content will still consist of book reviews, original pieces by me and random posts in between. What I am really looking forward to this year are guest-bloggers. I already have one in the bank and I will make sure to let you know when that particular post will be up. I do hope to get at least one more guest-blogger on board for this year. Keep your fingers crossed! In the near future, however, the posts will all be done by me.

Coming next week is a review on “American Apocalypse – A History of Modern Evangelicalism” by Matthew Avery Sutton. And the week after that I will write about one of my favourite concepts in horror/gothic literature: the haunted house. So if any of this sounds interesting to you then please! Do stop by in the coming weeks.

 

Till next time!

 

Xoxo Christina

Admit One

 

I was standing in front of a large wooden desk covered with a dirty green cloth. On top of the cloth was a telephone, a vase of flowers in a sickly yellow colour and a box of chocolates. Half of the chocolates had been eaten. Behind the desk sat the person who, no doubt, was the person who had eaten the chocolates; a secretary in a pale mint green laboratory coat, a gold watch on her left wrist and a pair of thick round glasses. Overweight, with short curly grey hair and a smile on her face; she almost looked like a kind and warm grandmother. However, that nice and cosy air around her quickly faded away when I looked at her eyes.

                      “Hello… I am here to check in” “Really?” she looked at me over the top of her thick glasses. Can she seriously see me? I thought she was halfway blind! “I see… Have you been diagnosed yet?” “Um… No, not exactly. But my doctor thought it best to send me here.” I held on tighter to my suitcase and raised my shoulders. I was definitely uncomfortable. “Oh, I see! Please take a seat, the doctor will be here in a second” I looked around and saw a single chair standing in the far corner of the waiting room. Not a lot of visitors I guess. I sat down, suitcase on my knees, as a protecting shield between me and the secretary, who was sitting across the room apparently solving a crossword puzzle. I looked around the waiting room and found the walls to be covered with brown and blue striped wallpaper, a closer look revealed that the wallpaper was no longer holding on to most of the corners. A further glance towards the ceiling revealed a large stain which appeared to be some kind of fungus spreading along the edge of the wallpaper. Suddenly I became unsure if it had been a good idea to come here. I looked at the secretary again and cleared my throat; “Excuse me, but what exactly do you do here?” Once again she looked at me over the top of her thick glasses. “Well, we cure people of course!” “And how exactly do you do that?” “With electricity” she gave me an irritated look and returned to her crossword puzzle. “But… what if electricity does not work” She looked at me again even more irritated “Well, then we use more electricity of course” “But if that still does not work?” I insisted. She resumed her crossword puzzle; “Then the good doctor will come up with something special I’m sure. Don’t you worry; the doctor has never failed to prescribe a patient with a treatment.” Her pencil began scribbling along the paper and her forehead revealed a frown as she once again concentrated on solving her crossword puzzle. I leaned back in the chair and once again looked at the disgusting stain on the ceiling. I swear it looks like it is growing by the minute! I looked at my watch only to realize that it had stopped. Footsteps brought me back to reality and I looked up just in time to see the large wooden door behind the secretary open. Behind the heavy door was a large muscular man, at least 6 feet tall, if not taller. He wore a tight green shirt with a red butterfly, which looked oddly out off place against his extremely muscular neck, and black heavy boots. At first glance he looked more like a man who had come straight out of the military and not out of medical school. He looked me up and down and I nervously rose from the uncomfortable chair.

                      “Hello there! And welcome to Sewer Sanatorium! Please follow me to my office and we’ll get you settled in!” He turned around and began marching in high speed down the narrow hall. I picked up my suitcase and quickly followed him into the sanatorium. The narrow hallway had been decorated with the same hideous wallpaper as the waiting room had been. The hallway was very cold and even though there were no windows a small stream of cold air seemed to be drifting through the walls. When we neared the end of the hallway I saw that it split into two doors placed opposite of each other; the one facing west was tall and made of some kind of dark wood, which I did not recognize. Its doorknob appeared to be made of solid gold and it had been lavishly decorated with what looked to be lions. To the east was a double door constructed in some kind of heavy looking metal. The cold drift seemed to be coming from there. The doctor turned toward the wooden door, and held it open as I walked trough and entered a large rectangular office. I walked to the far end of the room where a large desk had been placed between to chairs; one looking much more comfortable than the other. The large desk appeared to have been made of oak, it had been heavily polished and its surface displayed case files, several expensive looking pens, pictures of the doctor in several exotic locations and a bunch of framed diplomas. The doctor sat down at the desk and nodded at the chair at the opposite side of him. I sat down in the chair that was as uncomfortable as it looked, and took another quick glance around the room. Unlike the waiting room this office was luxuriously furnished and had a warm feeling to it. The latter probably had more to do with the fact that the room had not one, but two fireplaces, and less to do with the décor. As I looked around I noticed more pictures of the doctor on the walls, each and everyone portrayed him in an exotic place or beside a famous person or both. At the far end corner next to the door we had just entered were a huge closet full of extravagant clothes and a gold framed mirror hanging next to it. Some might want to check the good doctor for a bad case of narcissism. I moved uneasily in the chair and once again turned my attention towards the doctor and his enormous desk. I looked down for a second and noticed a small golden platter attached to the front of the desk: Dr. Archibald Ztrangler. Well, to be fair the doctor was half German. Or at least that was what the rumour said. I heard the doctor fumbling around with some papers and looked up again just as he decided that it was time to address the issue in front of us.

                      “Now, tell me, why are you here?” his voice was deep and a little gravely, more suited for screaming out orders than for talking to nervous patients. “Well, my doctor sent me here. He believed that it would do me good.” “Then I am sure it will! Now you would not mind having to answer a few questions, would you?” “No, no of course not. Ask away!” “Alright…” he looked down on a stack of papers he had just retrieved from one of the many drawers in the desk. “Firstly! Do you dream a lot?” “No, my sleep is more often lacking dreams than containing them.” “Very good, very good! Now, when you do dream, what do dream of?” “Well… Mostly it is about things I’ve experienced during the day, but sometimes they are just very confusing. You know, like most dreams are.” “I see, I see… Was your childhood a happy on?” “I think so, yes. My parents were happy together and we never faced any hard times when I was growing up.” “Interesting, interesting… Now tell me; are you in a relationship at the moment?” ”Not at the moment.” “I see, so would you say you exercise a lot?” “I’m afraid not. I work 70 hours a week and when I get home I’m too tired to even think about exercise.” “Aha… Now just give me a moment and I will consult my books!” He got up from his very comfortable looking chair and turned towards his heavily filled bookcases lining the wall behind him. I took another glance at his desk and found that a lot of his diplomas had interesting titles: Very Important Diploma, Diplloma, Some Kind Of Medical Diploma. I suddenly became unsure about the doctor’s credentials. A loud creek on the other side of the desk brutally pulled me out of my mind and into the world inhabited by others again, as the doctor sat back down and once again looked me up and down. “Well, I have to fill out your papers and make a file about you, so I am going to be very busy in the next few hours. But not to worry; one of my assistants will take you to your cell.” As he uttered the last words he pushed a button hidden on the side of the desk and a loud buzz travelled through the room and out into the hallway. A few seconds later the door opened and a man twice the size of the doctor entered the room. “My assistant here will show you the way to your cell. I will see you tomorrow when your treatment begins.” He looked down into his papers again and I slowly moved towards the door and the assistant, not sure if it would not be better if I just left the sanatorium altogether? The assistant lead me back out in to the hallway and opened the heavy double doors and let me into the heart of the facility. It suddenly became clear to me how the sanatorium had earned its name; the stench was almost unbearable! It consisted of sweat, urine and human flesh in decay; it was overwhelming and almost knocked me out. The hallway had been painted in a pale blue colour, but the walls were stained with blood and faeces, making the blue colour appear cold and unwelcoming. The fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling only made the hallway seem even colder and more uninviting. One side of the hallway consisted of cells while the other had rows of heavy looking metal doors covering the disgusting walls. Moaning, screaming and gibberish filled the air along with the foul stench. Me and the assistant passed several cells before we finally came to the one that was meant for me. It was a rusty metal door, with the number 15 painted on it and the inside was painted white. It had clearly been washed although there was still evidence of the former occupant to be found in there. There was not much furniture; a single bed with no pillow and no covers, a fluorescent light hanging from the ceiling and a dirty old toilet with no rim on it in the far end corner. I put down my suitcase as the assistant closed and locked the door behind me. I suddenly realised that everyone had told me about the many treatments of this place, but so far no one had told me about the people who had been cured…

The Forgotten Starcounter

 

There once was a peculiar little boy

Who wasn’t human, who wasn’t a toy

Eyes of red lights and skin of steel

He was made to serve not to feel

 

He is working in the far end of our galaxy

Counting the stars for you and me

He counts in the day, he counts in the night

Although the darkness gives him a terrible fright

 

He likes the sun and its burning flames

And in its light grants the stars their names

Wonder why he is nameless himself

Let’s out a cry, but no one comes to help

 

He works in the dark forever unseen

He repairs and holds himself clean

He asks the stars if they have stories to tell

‘Cause no one else can do that so well

 

Time flies by, Time flies fast

In the blink of an eye 100 years have passed

Forgotten by his owner; The Great Agency

Still he is counting the stars for you and me

Books on My Reading List pt. 2

 

Hello again! So this week I continue last week’s topic that is the giant pile of books I have to read. And just like last week’s post clarified: yes, these are all books I own and no, I am not rich just very strategic with my shopping. So with that disclaimer out of the way let me continue last week’s list:

 

1. “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Brontë

One of the classics I am looking forward to become acquainted with. I do have a soft spot for the classics, but alas! I have yet to read them all! But I have a feeling that this book is going to be right up my alley!

 

2. “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame” By Victor Hugo

Yet another classic I am looking forward to reading. I must admit that the only knowledge I have of this work of fiction is the animated Disney movie. Now in my opinion that movie has one of the best villains in Disney history: Frollo. And if he is just half as “good” in the book, then I have something to look forward to I would say.

 

3. “Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad

Originally bought for a class at University I ended up dropping, but by then I had bought the book and now it is not only a part of my “future reads”-pile but also of my little collection of classics. I have a feeling that this will not only be an engaging read, but also a terrifying read. In short: I am looking forward to having the time to read it!

 

(The three books listed above are all part of the Wordsworth Classics. These are affordable paperbacks and I have found that you can often get a good deal on them if you buy more than one. Just wanted to mention it so that those of you reading this who has limited finances like myself, becomes aware of cheap yet still good quality books.)

 

4. “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

I absolutely LOVE the original! And this has been recommended to me many times. I have begun reading it several times, but so far I have not been able to get even halfway. Now that has nothing to do with the book being bad, on the contrary! It is very good. And funny. It just so happens that every time I embark on the journey the outside world, for one reason or another, demands my attention. Hopefully I will soon have the time to finally read it all the way through.

 

5. “Mayhem and Murder – Narrative and Moral Problems in the Detective Story” by Heta Pyrhönen

Another book I purchased second hand in Aberystwyth. Now this one I am a bit uncertain about, but since I do like crime fiction I thought it might be something I would enjoy reading. It does look promising, but I will have to find out if it is going to rise above my mediocre expectations.

 

6. “Salem’s Lot” by Stephen King

Now I will be the first to admit that I am not the biggest fan of Stephen King, but when he gets it right he gets it right. This book like Anno Dracula from last week’s post was a recommendation on Jillian Venters’ website “Gothic Charm School”. And just like Anno Dracula it features vampires. That particular monster seems to be a returning subject on this blog. Well! I guess it is just a part of my gothic leanings.

 

7. “The Passage” by Justin Cronin

First a little disclaimer: this is the only book on the list I have in Danish and so I am going to read the entire trilogy in Danish. Now with that said let me just continue with the fact that I am half way through it, but since it is over a thousand pages long it is not gonna be finished in just a few sittings. I already have the sequel on standby and I am really looking forward to continuing this during the winter break. It is so far one of the best books I have ever read. If the second half as well as the rest of the trilogy continues with the same greatness then this will definitely end up on an “all time favourite books”-list.

 

And here we go! The second half of my book pile listed. I do get a little nervous when seeing how many books that are on my shelves that I still have to read, but an even bigger part of me is very excited by all the literature I have yet to delve in to. Now will this keep me from putting even more books on my Christmas’ list this year? No. I already have five listed, so the pile might get a bit of a growth spurt this winter. I will keep you updated on that!

 

Xoxo Christina

Books on My Reading List pt. 1

 

So far on this blog I have talked about books and short stories I have already read. So this time around I will give you a list of the books I have on my “future reads”-list. Now let me just clarify that yes: all the books on here are books I own, and no: I am not rich or even well off, I just tend to buy books in bulk when they are on sale or if there are special deals. I also tend to get quite a few on my birthday and on Christmas. So a lot of planning and waiting goes in to my book-shopping. With that out off the way let me move on to the actual list!

 

1. “The Invention of Murder – How the Victorians Revelled in Death and Detection and Created Modern Crime” by Judith Flanders

I am already a third of the way through this one, but since University came back in to my life this year I have not had the time to finish it yet. Sadly this is not the only book I have begun reading on this list, and I am usually not one to put a book away before it is finished. But these days it seems that the only books I finish are the ones I read for school. Fortunately the winter break is only a month away! I cannot wait to continue this book! So far it has been a very entertaining and exciting read.

 

2. “Dune” by Frank Herbert

Yes I know, I know. I am way behind on this one, but in my defence I have never delved much into Science Fiction. However I thought that this book would be a good place to start.

 

3.”Mort” by Terry Pratchett

I am half way through this and I hope to finish it during the forthcoming break. Like the other books in the Discworld series it is serious, philosophical and absolutely hilarious all at the same time. If you have never read anything in this series before I can highly recommend it. And I am sure that others will recommend it too.

 

4. “Victorian Writing & Working Women” by Julia Swindells

The second nonfiction book on the list so far. I picked this up at a second hand book store in Aberystwyth when I studied abroad and it bugs me that I have not picked it up yet. Hopefully it will be an interesting read since it combines some of my favourite subjects: the Victorian Era, gender roles and feminism.

 

5. “Anno Dracula” by Kim Newman

I found a recommendation of this on Jillian Venters’ website “Gothic Charm School”. And since I am a fan of the original Dracula by Stoker I thought that this would be a hit in my collection as well. I have ventured in to the first chapter and so far I really like what I see.

 

6. “The Greatest Show on Earth – The Evidence for Evolution” by Richard Dawkins

This book I have also begun reading this summer. I am a quarter into it so far and I must say that Dawkins knows how to explain the science behind evolution so that even someone as unscientific as myself can understand it. I came by him and this book when I bought the latest Nightwish album named and based upon this very work of his. And so far the book has not disappointed. And neither did the album.

 

7. “Magic(al) Realism” by Maggie Ann Bowers ( part of the New Critical Idiom series)

Another subject in literary theory I am very curious about. I hope that it will be just as interesting and inspiring read as Gothic by Botting in the same series.

 

And that is the first half of my “future reads”-pile. I will post the other half next week. And as I make my way through these books I might write up some in-depth future reviews of them. But for now I hope that this list (and the list coming next week) will not only give you some ideas for future reads of your own, but also remove any guilt you might have over your own book pile that has been put on hold for a while for one reason or another.

 

And with that I will be back next week!

 

Xoxo Christina

Book review: Dracula by Bram Stoker

 

Dracula by Bram Stoker: the book that is famed for having started the whole fascination with vampires. Even if someone has never read the book they are very likely to still know who and what Dracula is. This vampire has been portrayed over and over again on stage and on the big screen. The two most well known portrayals, I personally believe, are done by Bela Lugosi and Gary Oldman (that snickering laughter always manages to send a chill down my spine!). Yes, this book is a familiar read for many, but I still believe it a good idea to do a review or recommendation of it, for the odd chance that someone stumbling along this blog have yet to pick it up. So without further ado:

 

Dracula by Bram Stoker is a tale of friendship, love and the threat of not only a monster, but the monstrosity said monster can stir up within its victims. Jonathan Harker travels to Transylvania where he meets the mysterious Count Dracula. He is there as a solicitor to finalise a property deal. Though he has not been there long before the situation becomes dire and he realises that not everything is what it seems. Back in Great Britain his fiancé Mina and her friend Lucy are enjoying the seaside, but they also soon find themselves in a rather dreadful situation. Then there is Dr. Seward and his patient Renfield at the asylum. Not to mention Dr. Van Helsing whose task it is to gather a group of vampire-slayers and hunt down the monster and his children.

 

This may all seem rather confusing, when just reading my short synopsis of the novel, but trust me: it is a very easy read, in the sense that the narrative is easy to follow and the characters are easy to relate to (except perhaps Van Helsing, but I will get to that later).

 

The story is told as a series of journal entries, newspaper articles and letters. This gives the story an almost detective-like atmosphere as both the reader and the characters connects the dots and form a fully fledged narrative. It is a style which gives the novel a good pace and thus you, as a reader, never feel like the story is brought to a halt for exposition, since every observation of the characters have the potential of being relevant. But even though most of the story is told through a first person narrative the sense of atmosphere is never lost, and the different locations maintain their sense of gloom and hidden terrors (though personally I always laugh when I read the passages involving Renfield). As someone whose second language is English I always am a bit nervous when reaching for one of the classics, since there is a risk of the language being so old fashioned that reading it becomes a chore rather than an enjoyment. But joy! My worries were firmly put to rest when I opened this book. So if you, for one reason or another, tend to avoid classics for this specific reason I would encourage you to pick up this book: is the style a bit old? Yes. Is it so old it becomes a chore to read? Most certainly not!

 

So it is perfect then? Sadly no. It has its flaws; however they are quite small and easy to overcome, at least for me they were. The first one is Dr. Van Helsing. Now, while there is nothing wrong with having a vampire hunter in the book (I believe that part to be essential!) Helsing becomes a bit of a problem every time he opens his mouth; he sounds like a pompous character out of a Shakespearean play. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with Shakespeare (Twelfth Night is still one of the most hilarious texts I have ever had to read), but in this particular context it seems out of place and one might find oneself rolling his (or her) eyes after several of Helsing’s speeches. The other flaw I will mention actually was not a flaw for me, but I have come across people for whom this absolutely made them put down the book and never return to it again; the view of women and their role in society. Yes, chauvinism was rampant when this was written. Yes, the vampire can be seen as symbol of the danger of female sexuality and the new woman. If this is a tiebreaker for you I understand, I often find it annoying when classics are so brazen in their misogyny (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and that damn brilliant detective of his!), but I must admit that it never bothered me with this particular novel. I personally have always thought of Mina as sort of softening to the new woman at the beginning of the twentieth century, and I have always viewed her as both smart and strong. Now, is she still in need of a man to save her? Yes. Is her place still at home? Yes. But I’ll take what I can get with this one.

 

Overall I highly recommend this book if you have never read it. And if you have I suggest that you should pick it up again. I might just give mine a third read when the holidays come along and my winter exams are all done.

 

And with that I will leave you for now. Till next time!

 

Xoxo Christina

Lamppost

 

Martin was standing by the black-painted door in the alley behind the nightclub. He bent over to light a cigarette covering the flame with his left hand. A lonely light above the door turned him into a shadow; black on black removed from the crowd. He turned his head and looked into the darkness beyond the backdoor. Slight movement and muffled sound travelled discreetly towards him. Somewhere in the shadows were his friend, Harry, and a short curvy brunette who currently was on her knees. Martin took another drag of his cigarette and glanced back towards the main street; groups of people going inside the club, standing outside smoking or moving towards the only grill in town in search of something salty to soak up the alcohol consumed a few moments prior. A shuffling behind him indicated that Harry had gotten what he wanted and moments later he stood beside Martin lighting a cigarette.

"Beer?"

"Sure. You don't wanna wait for her?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason. Come on. Let's go."

The lonely grill had never stopped its sale of six-packs. Not even when the owner of the nightclub had taken a baseball bat to the old neon sign out front. They were stacked in the back on the floor all the way to the ceiling, a weary looking old chair assisted in reaching the ones on top. The cans were warm, the beer warmer. At least it was cheap and soon they were outside in the cold again. It only took about five minutes of walking for the two friends to be entirely alone.

"Wanna go to my place?"

"Sure. I don't much care." Martin shrugged and looked straight ahead. Harry reached for another beer and in the same movement crumbled and tossed the empty can.

"Okay. My place it is then!"

 

Harry's place consisted of a small room which worked as bedroom, living room and storage space in one. From there two doors let to the kitchen and bathroom respectively. Harry threw himself on the bed with the remainder of the six-pack while Martin sat down on the floor reaching for a half full vodka bottle underneath a pile of clothes.

"Welp! Here's to more alcohol!"

"Cheers." Martin raised the bottle slightly before putting it to his lips, not really listening to what Harry had said. Harry guzzled down the beer and tossed the empty can against the wall. He fumbled a moment with the bed sheet, found the remote and turned on the TV. The default channel was some kind of low budget porn station, but he only lingered there for a moment before browsing through the other channels. Reruns of Bill O'Reilley, some WWE match, a nineties TV-show flashed by until he stopped at some sports channel showing the first Rocky-movie.

"Aw man... I fucking love this movie!" The last beer of the six-pack in his right hand the remote in the other turning up the volume.

"Yeah... Whatever..." Martin ran a hand through his black hair and took another mouthful of vodka, some of it spilling down his shirt. Halfway through the movie the bottle was empty and he looked under the bed to find an unopened bottle of Jack D among the condom wrappers, mouldy food containers and the lonely socks.

"Hey! Give me some of that will ya?" He expertly emptied half of the Jack D into the empty vodka bottle then handing it to Harry. Martin wasn't sure if he watched the last of the movie or if he passed out before that. All he knew was that he was craving salty food, aspirin and more booze when he woke up on Harry's floor at noon. He didn't bother waking up Harry right away; instead he went to the bathroom first splashing water in his face, under his armpits, putting toothpaste on his finger to use as an improvised toothbrush, before emptying his bladder. Harry was still far away in his sleep when he emerged from the dark bathroom; living in the basement did not allow for much sunlight, still, the rent was good. Martin grabbed him by the collar and shook him until he was no longer mumbling in confusion.

"Alright! Alright! I'm up... I'm up! Jesus man! What the fuck is your problem?"

"Hungry. Anymore Jack D left?"

"I don't fucking know... But yeah, me too. Burger and fries?"

"Yeah... Where's the fucking Jack D?"

"I don't know... Have you looked underneath the bed?" Harry fumbled with getting his denim jacket on and moved slowly towards the door. Martin felt his stomach contents moving dangerously up towards his mouth as he knelt down at the bed peering underneath it and finding the last of the Jack D back with its trashy friends.

"Are you coming or what?"

"Yeah..."

Outside a delicate breeze was playing with the fallen leaves and the cold sharpened their senses and made their hangovers even worse. Martin was walking slowly a few steps behind Harry with Jack in his right hand and a cigarette in his left. A few streets down Harry turned towards a hedge, unzipped his pants and parked the newly-lit cigarette in his mouth.

"Fuck it burns man! Hey! Do you think you could hurry up a bit huh? I'm gonna fucking starve to death before we get there." Martin shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette. He looked straight ahead without really seeing anything. That seemed to have happened a lot lately.

"Whatever! Just fucking hurry up, okay?" Another shrug and they continued towards the main street at the same pace as before. Another right turn and the busted neon sign got visible in the distance. The outside looked deserted with only the empty cans, puke and half-eaten food on the ground; all with courtesy from the lonely grill. Harry kicked a few of the cans at two elderly ladies walking by. They huddled together and picked up their pace afraid of the stinking man flipping the bird at them. Inside a few people were scattered among the old furniture trying to make it as decent seating. The air was warm and sticky, weaker constituents would have emptied their stomachs on the floor had they been in the same state as Harry and Martin. Fortunately they were made of sterner stuff. The scruffy looking owner muttered some intelligible words and handed them their food. At the table they poured the remaining Jack D into their soft drinks and guzzled them down before sinking their teeth into the burgers, grease running down their chins and staining their fingers.

"Needs more salt."

"Mm..."

Harry took off the top- bun of his burger and poured on more salt. A thin coat of white appeared before he was finally satisfied and continued eating.

"Your taste buds are messed up, you know that right?"

"Fuck my taste buds! I don't care! If I can't taste it going down, then I won't taste it when it comes back up again."

"Well... That's a plus I guess." Martin shrugged and took another bite out of his cheeseburger, knowing that he surely would taste it when it came back up.

"So what's the plan then?"

"Well. Ian probably wants his blow delivered today. That guy... You know... The one in the next town over, the one with the Ferrari? Yeah him. Well he's having some sort of big party tonight and Ian's most likely going to need us getting the blow there."

"Okay." Martin shrugged. "Guess that's the plan."

"Fine! I'll give Ian a call."

 

Ian lived three houses down from the old supermarket, a cellar-dweller just like Harry. The old supermarket greeted them as they reached Ian's. It looked worn down and oblivious to the fact that it was no longer 1980. The wind had picked up and Martin's hair kept flying into his eyes. He raised a hand pushing it back behind his ears, but to no use. Honestly he did not care much anyway.

Inside was dark and badly lit, black plastic bags covering the windows. But even in the shadowy room Martin could clearly see the cum-stains on the black bed sheets. Other than the bed the room was mostly bare: a low coffee table, a TV hanging on the wall and a pile of clothes in the corner. Standing before the table a thin coating of white dust could be seen, not surprising seeing how this was where Ian did most of his business. Two bags lay on the table waiting to be picked up.

“It’s a simple delivery like always”, Ian’s voice was raspy and his eyes watery, “you get 10% as usual and you can do a line each if you want to.” His hands were shaking as he lit a cigarette oblivious to the two already lit in the ashtray beside him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry grabbed the bags and weighed them in his hand; “I’ll drop by tomorrow with the money.” Ian mumbled some words to his cigarette, and as he casted a curious glance at the dealer Martin scrambled outside into the cold again.

 

Before they went back to Harry’s place a stop by the supermarket was required seeing how Harry was running low on both cigarettes and booze. Martin waited outside numbingly smoking the last of his cigarette. Looking around the feeling of being stuck in a deep hole without means of escape weighed even heavier on his shoulders. Harry must feel it too he thought, but at least Harry could still distract himself. Well, most of the time at least. He threw the last of his cigarette out on the street and looked over his shoulder, behind was the old lamppost. It did not work and the city did not seem to prioritise fixing it. But the eerie thing about it was the sound it produced on windy days, a sound which Martin could clearly hear now standing near it. It was not one but two distinct noises that could be detected; a sort of hollow whistle dancing around in the lower register, as well as a higher pitched beep not unlike the sound an old computer would make. An 80's sort of sound, very fitting considering the old supermarket had had its heyday probably in 1982.

“Hey! Come back to earth!” Martin turned around just in time to dodge the empty beer can Harry threw at him; the bastard had always been a fast drinker. “Seriously, my nuts are about to freeze off! So do you want beer or vodka to walk on?”

“I’ll take the vodka”, Martin looked at the bottle for a moment before opening it; it was some cheap brand and he felt his stomach turning at the acid like taste. “I guess you’re on a budget today?” He did not get an answer so he turned to find Harry staring at the lamppost.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I don’t… that sound man…” Harry grimaced and forcefully turned his head towards the street. “That fucking sound’s messing with my hangover!” He angrily opened another can of beer and spilled half its contents on himself in the process. “Fuck the cold! Let’s go back to my place.”

“Okay” Martin glanced over his shoulder to look at the lonely lamp as they walked away; Harry stomping irritated on far ahead.

 

Hours later it had become dark and they where driving to the neighbouring town in an old Ford. Martin was not sure about the model, but like everything else in the town it seemed to have had its heyday some time in the 80’s. Harry had fumbled with the lock and the wires for several minutes before they were finally able to make the delivery. Martin still had the vodka bottle in his hands and beside him, at the wheel, Harry was tuning in on some obscure EBM station, while simultaneously taking a line from one of the bags. Martin had lost count of how many times his nose had inhaled the lovely distraction and noted that they were currently going 30 over the speed limit.

“Sure you don’t want some?”

Another mouthful of cheap vodka.

“Suit yourself”, Harry took another nosedive into the bag and then finally turned his attention towards the road. “So what do you wanna do when we get back?”

“You’re not planning on staying?”

“Nah, those rich guys always look down on the common people, you know? I’d rather stay somewhere I’m welcome.”

“Whatever.”

“So what you wanna do?”

“Don’t know. I guess we’ll see when we get back.”

 

It was not difficult to locate the buyer, like Harry had said, he owned a Ferrari, and said car was parked on the front lawn in such a manner that everyone would see it. But even so; the large house, the loud music and the people having sex half hidden in the bushes were also good indicators that this was their destination.

“Fuck! That’s an awesome car man!” Harry, clearly impressed, stepped closer to the red monstrosity. “Fuck! I need one of these!”

“Mmhm”, Martin could not see what was so special about it. “It’s just a car. Com’on! We have blow to sell.”

“Yeah… sure, sure.”

Inside was a crammed chaos and moving, whether backwards or forwards, soon became entirely impossible, so Harry took to the tactic of yelling; then, shortly after that, screaming at the top of his lungs. A guy over six feet tall approached them, slowly because the sea of writhing bodies hardly moved aside for him. When he was within arms length he reached out and grabbed Harry by the collar.

“Be right back!” 10 minutes passed before Martin finally decided to move. He felt catatonic in the crowd and with no alcohol in sight he had no reason to move. In the end he decided to go outside; at least he could watch a lot of people having sex. Not as good as a mountain of coke or buckets of alcohol, but it was something.

As he watched a couple going at it up against the wall he thought about the last time he had sex. He could not remember.

“Hey Sucker!” He looked over his shoulder; Harry was approaching him cash in one hand and an expensive looking bottle of whiskey in the other.

“Let’s get outta here shall we?”

“Yeah… damn I wish I’d had some of that coke now!”

“Buy an eight ball when we get back to town.”

“Yeah whatever. You’re driving!”

“If you insist!”

 

Whatever little buzz he had had it was completely gone by the time they came back to town. Harry parked the car near the grill and looked at him.

“Sure you don’t wanna come with me?”

“Yeah, I’m done for today.”

“Your loss then. Well, I’ll find myself some easy girl. See ya!” He turned and walked towards the bar. Martin watched him for a while before lighting a cigarette and heading back to the basement. The wind had picked up and his hair kept getting into his eyes. Today has been non-existing he thought, today I did not even exist. The thought of an eight ball seemed pretty good now, but at the same time it was just too much effort getting it. He took a sip of the whiskey; the taste a million times better than the cheap vodka. Maybe that would be enough for tonight? Or maybe a merciful sleep would be better?

He did not bother getting into the bed when he finally reached the basement; the floor suited him just fine. He turned on the TV and fell asleep with porn on the screen, the whiskey bottle in one hand and the other holding a beer can. His dreams were a mess of people fucking, gathering coke from treasure chests and total darkness. He was awoken by Harry holding him by the shoulders, shaking him.

“Mmm… what? What is it?”

“I found this girl alright! Totally easy, but she wanted to pick up some cigarettes at the supermarket. Menthols you know, that’s what she smokes.”

“What the… Harry! What the fuck are you talking about?”

“The cigarettes man! She wanted to pick up cigarettes at the supermarket!” His hands were shaking badly as he lit a cigarette, eyes all over the place failing to focus on anything in particular.

“You had too much coke man! Could you even get it up?”

“What? I don’t know. She wanted to buy those cigarettes, but the sound man… the sound!”

“What sound?”

“The fucking lamppost!”

“Get some sleep Harry. You make no sense man.” Martin turned away and closed his eyes, but sleep did not last long. When he woke up a few hours later Harry was sitting beside him eyes on the TV, but not seeing what was on the screen.

“Harry? You okay?”

“The lamppost Martin, can’t you hear it?”

“Hear what?”

“The lamppost. It’s like it wants me… like it wants me to fuck it or something.”

“I think you’re having a bad trip. Get some sleep!”

“No I… I have to go and talk to it. I have to find out what it wants.”

“Whatever! Just don’t start humping it okay?”

Harry did not answer as he got up and left, and Martin did not hear the door close behind him. Not that he cared much anyway, he was too drunk still to feel the cold and as for intruders: an open door or an unlocked door made no difference.

 

That night was the last time Martin saw Harry. He reported him missing the following day and the police stopped looking for him the day after that. No one but Martin cared about him and they had more important things to do, like making sure the prostitutes did not spill the beans on the police chief. He often went by the supermarket, looking at the lamppost and drinking cheap vodka. But it took three years of drinking, dealing coke and living in the basement before he also heard it. The curious sound the wind created when blowing by the old lamppost filled his head as he lay on the floor in the darkness. It took over his mind and without thought or worry he got up and left the basement, leaving the door open behind him.